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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29285652">Only Fate</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ottosrvnge/pseuds/ottosrvnge'>ottosrvnge</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Sinner (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Adrenaline, Anal, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Choking, Cold Weather, College, Coming Untouched, Creampie, Denial of Feelings, Dorms, Fate, First Time, Kissing, M/M, Manipulation, No Lube, Painful Sex, Pining, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Praise Kink, Religious Imagery &amp; Symbolism, Stripping, Swimming, Underwater</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 05:21:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,502</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29285652</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ottosrvnge/pseuds/ottosrvnge</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Fuck, how's that feel?" Nick gasped, Jamie could see his heart racing in his carotid. He reached out to feel his pulse, it felt unreal. No, it felt fucking real. It all felt so real. Nick felt so real. </p><p>Jamie didn't know how they started kissing, their hands gripping around each other's necks. Scratching down at the skin. It only registered when Jamie felt his face fall under the freezing water again. He was kissing Nick. He was kissing a man.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jamie Burns &amp; Nick Haas, Jamie Burns/Nick Haas</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Only Fate</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Just watched all of The Sinner season 3 on netflix and I kept waiting for their homosexual experience and it didn't happen so I made it lol</p><p>Got kind of inspired by a bit of dialogue in <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23850187"> @leetheshark 's that dizzy edge </a> it's an incredible fic</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The water covered Jamie, some of it shot up his nose as he tried to scramble back to the surface. Nick hit the water right as he took in the winter air, it felt like his first breath- first real breath. Hands grasped all over Jamie as Nick pulled himself up out of the water; his thighs, his hips, his arms, his neck. They sat there treading water, Jamie frozen under Nick's stare for what felt like hours but only could've been seconds. </p><p>"Fuck, how's that feel?" Nick gasped, Jamie could see his heart racing in his carotid. He reached out to feel his pulse, it felt unreal. No, it felt fucking real. It all felt so real. Nick felt so real. </p><p>Jamie didn't know how they started kissing, their hands gripping around each other's necks. Scratching down at the skin. It only registered when Jamie felt his face fall under the freezing water again. He was kissing Nick. He was kissing a man. </p><p>"We should get back." Jamie said it too weakly, his voice was too soft, too quiet, too fake to hold any weight. Nick would see through it. Sure he would. He saw through everything. </p><p>"Yeah, whatever you want." </p><p>They moved in silence. Nick seemed too comfortable. Jamie felt like he was going to jump out of his skin, shivering and just thinking. He envied the peace Nick was at. </p><p>He didn't know why he expected Dan to be in the room, Jamie knew he went home and that his dorm was entirely empty. Nick pulled off his wet clothes as soon as he got into the room, Jamie felt his stomach drop and a sweat gather at his frozen fingertips. He hesitated before taking off his shirt, not daring to touch his jeans. Nick was rummaging through his clothes, laughing as he pulled out a pair of Jamie's boxers. Jamie felt his tongue swell and his throat fall victim to the sweltering heat of his blood as Nick removed his own boxers. All his paled skin in full view. Jamie hated the way he couldn't look away. </p><p>"Why are you so fucking scared?" Nick turned, he still hadn't replaced his boxers. He was staring Jamie down, eyes harsh and teeth settled on his bottom lip. </p><p>"I'm not scared." </p><p>"You want to kiss me- no, you want to fuck me, Jamie. I can see it behind your eyes, you're still shivering in this 90 degree heating, you're tongues out like a little lap dog. What's holding you back? Is it the gay thing? You're scared of some arbitrary perception of yourself. Animals fuck each other all the time, God doesn't smite them down. Why would he care who you fucked, Jamie? Why would anyone? Everyone only cares about themselves." Nick laughed, he had sat down on Jamie's bed. The image lit a fire underneath Jamie's feet, Nick was just testing to see how long Jamie could walk on the coal.</p><p>"Why don't we let fate decide?" Nick offered, Jamie was too busy avoiding looking at Nick's naked body to notice him reaching for a piece of paper. He  hoped he'd be able to avoid it, but prayed he'd get to have Nick for just this one night. </p><p>Nick smiled at him, like he could see through into his psyche. "You write two, I'll write two." </p><p>Jamie picked three, then green. He could see the red ink spilling through the thin paper, maybe that influenced his decision. Maybe he was his own fate. He chose to fuck Nick. He wanted it. Needed it. </p><p>Nick smiled again, seeing through his mind at all his synapses firing into motion. Jamie felt invigorated by the gaze, all his secrets on display. It was primal. </p><p>Jamie moved faster than he could think, straddling Nick on his bed, kissing him with the intensity of the abyss. Nick was more experienced than him, his hands moved deliberately over every part of Jamie's body that made him whimper into the kiss. He had been hard since that first rush of adrenaline. Nick teased him, hands only brushing over his wet jeans. Teeth digging into the skin at the crook of his neck. Eyes still trained on Jamie's soul through his ribcage. </p><p>"How's it feel, my friend? To be alive and aware?" Nick's voice vibrated down Jamie's spine, he didn't respond opting for finally pulling off his jeans and boxers. </p><p>Jamie was grateful for fate, he had something to blame for losing control. For looking Nick straight in the eyes and whining for him to "Fuck me please." </p><p>"You really want me to?" Nick sounded amused, his voice at a half laugh as he pushed a finger into Jamie with no warning. </p><p>Jamie gasped, lurching forward against Nick's cock as he groaned. It fel strange, but he couldn't control the way his hips moved against the intrusion. His hole stretched to fit the dry finger as he pushed back against it, it hurt but pain was just a reminder of reality. Two fingers, then three, and Jamie was tearing up he thought he could feel his blood spreading across Nick's fingers but the relief of friction was enough for him not to care. </p><p>"You're too good to need anything other than me. You jumped, Jamie. You don't need lube, you don't even need these fingers. You need the real, raw feeling. You need the pain. Let me give it to you. I promise you'll feel the weight of the world lift, indulge and you'll be free." </p><p>"Just do it, please." Jamie didn't know what he was supposed to feel but he knew he needed more. He couldn't handle Nick's fingers but he needed more, he needed to please. He couldn't even recognize himself in those brief moments of clarity he was allowed when Nick left him empty, he knew it was him begging and moaning and whimpering but he couldn't bring himself back to his body. </p><p>Until Nick thrust up into him, monstrous and tearing him apart from the inside. Jamie was forced back into his body, his skin humming as he moved against Nick. He loved it. Loved the burn as Nick tried to move inside Jamie's hole. Loved the feeling of Nick's hands digging into his skin so hard he could tell when the bruises would start to form. Loved the incoherent rambles Nick bit into his skin as he controlled Jamie's body. </p><p>"This lust. This desperation. That's what makes you human. Better than any fucking god. You're so tight. Fuck, I could break you." Nick turned Jamie, pushing his back into the bed as he licked violent lines up his neck. Jamie could feel his cock pulsing inside him, making him squirm under Nick. </p><p>"I've never- God. Oh fuck. Jesus Christ." </p><p>"Now couldn't be a worse time for religion. Say my name instead. I'm the only one who's ever made you feel like this, huh? Little- fuck, fucking virgin. You want this so bad, don't you? Want me to fill you?" </p><p>"God- fuck, wait. Please, just please. God. Fuck. Please." Nick didn't move from a spot inside Jamie that made him short circuit, his vision was going white. His eyes started to roll back and he relaxed into the chaos of his body until he felt Nick's hand covering his neck perfectly. </p><p>"Say my name. Not that bastard's." He squeezed hard, not hard enough keep Jamie from talking though. They were both shaking against each other, engulfed in the adrenaline of their fate. </p><p>"Fuck. Nick- fuck, oh my-" Nick squeezed harder, warning Jamie not to finish that phrase. He could feel his eyes wanting to bulge out of his skull and his lungs yearning for untouched air. He choked out a raspy "Nick, Nick. Fuck, please Nick. Nick. Oh fuck, Nick." </p><p>"Good boy. You're getting it. Keep saying my name- Fuck. You're gonna make me- Fuck. Jamie. You're so tight. Cum for me." Nick commanded, his voice wasn't as composed as he usually was, the primal edge to his voice forced Jamie to obey. It was entirely out of his control, to cum all over their chests while screaming Nick's name over and over in a raving mantra of pleasure. That was all up to fate's hand. </p><p>Fate also had a hand in Jamie cumming a second time as he felt Nick fill his hole, sweat dripping down onto his body and Nick's animalistic grunts and moans as he emptied himself completely into Jamie. His back arched like he was possessed, and he supposed he was, as Nick cut off his airways and praised his wet twitching hole and the extra cum spilling onto their chests. </p><p>It was all fate. </p><p>"Maybe I should bury you alive. You liked my hand so much, how would you like my coffin?" Nick whispered in Jamie's ear as they laid on top of each other, Jamie whined rolled up against Nick and pulled his lips in for a desperate kiss at the statement. It was still fate. Only fate.</p>
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